Almost to the first day...without a plan

Food: 1 grande double shot espresso with cream, 1 venti iced latte with non fat milk, 1 green machine shake, and about a cup of rice mixed with leftover Indian Food.
Weight: 203

My DH turned to me and told me he was excited about me being home this summer because I can cook. I always cook in the summer, but usually they are pretty unhealthy food items. I kind of gave him a look, but then figured he is right. I will probably cook all the unhealthiness...but that is when I decided I needed a set plan.

Planning is half the battle. I am coming off the worst depression of my life. I used to be a list maker, and a researcher, and well a little overboard. This past year I literally have no fucks to give. A lot of cool stuff is set to start though, so I need to focus a lot.

Today at noon I became unemployed. That sounds worse than it is. My required time with my district is done and I still pull 3 or 4 more paychecks. I have been tentatively accepted in a new position at a different school. So the summer is, for the most part, mine. I am also waiting to here if I start Grad school next semester. If I do it starts in a month. I am pleased. This is something I very much want. Luckily, the program is online.

The plan right now is to spend tomorrow and sunday planning. I need to figure out simplicity, avoiding food boredom, energy reserves for working out. I have a very expensive gym I pay for and do not attend. I will start attending.

My mom is into the porridge things. I am not entirely sure I want grains in my diet. Wheats, grains, and anything carb makes me gain like crazy. I may detox before I try to incorporate the heavy in. Again, this is all tentative. Until I have a plan. Which I don't.

Considering This an Adventure

Weight: 202.4

Food: 2 bean and cheese tacos, tall espresso with non-fat milk, a double double animal style from In & Out, 1/4 portion of animal style fries, diet coke, 2 sparkling waters, 1/4 chicken breast, 3 sweet potato fries, and 1/4 cup of green beans. Calories: Billions.

Exercise: I walked a bit.

I can write excuses about how I became over 200lbs. The truth is that this is not the heaviest I have been. My weight fluctuates a lot. I lose a lot and fast, and then I gain a lot and fast. However, this isn't anything I actively do. It just happens. Trying to lose weight is incredibly hard for me. In February and March I was at around 1200 calories a day and worked out every other day and nothing. Not one pound.

My mom decided to make a lifestyle change. I want to say I am doing this to support her, and in a way I am, but really I am going to do this for me.

I am going to start the Monday after I am done with school. I could start today or tomorrow, but I believe stress has a lot to do with my mindset. My last day is June 3rd, and I want two days to prep.

I guess the game plan in low cal, high vegetables and protein, and just keep as many processed foods out as possible.

I plan on going to my gym every day. I also plan on doing something routine every day that de-stresses me. Reading, crafts, and just things to keep me calm and my soul happy.

The only stress that I foresee is I am trying to get into a masters program, and I am currently job hunting. However, I will look at those as good things. The alternative is I stay in the horrible situation I am in at work.

I plan on writing just to be honest and hold myself accountable for my current decisions as well as my future decisions.