Sparse Updating

Yesterday Food: 1 Turkey Sandwich with mayo and bread. 470 calories. In and Out Burger with lettuce for a bun...and half of the fries....I don't know. It wasn't really cheating because I am pretty sure I was in my calorie limits...but it was good.

Weight: ?

Quote: "Ow." ---Me

I have severe hip problems. I go the chiro about once a week to align my spine and hips. The day before yesterday I was looking for my birth certificate ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I did this for about 8 hours straight. I heard something pop, and I noticed it was really uncomfortable. I kind of dealt with it.

I woke up, and it was bad. Like throbbing. DH rubbed my hip a little and it relieved, but still super pain. I had to go to the mall, and by the time I was done I literally had to stop halfway to the car and sit. Even sitting hurt. I drove to the chiro, which luckily was open on a Saturday. I waited, and it was impossible to stand or sit. When the doctor came out, he kind of gave me a look. He said that I had an obvious injury. I laid down, and he began feeling, and told me my hip was partially dislocated. Usually it is out of rotation, but it was fully out of rotation and it was protruding out of the joint. So he rolled me, clawed me, and clicked it back in. It was horrifically painful, but also relieving.

It still hurts. But it is obviously better. a 3 hour car ride today, a plane ride and another couple hour car ride will probably be the death of me, but cool water awaits me.

Tropical Drink Melting in Your Hand

Thursday Food: 3 Reduced fat Angus Beef hot dogs and 1/2 c chili.  Buffalo Chicken Cups: Cubed chicken breasts in buffalo sauce in lettuce leaves with light low cal blue cheese. Baby carrots dipped in 1/4 cup guac. 

Quote: “Sometimes our best action result in things that are most regrettable.” 

― Diana Gabaldon, Outlander

Friday Food: Steak filet, 1/2 c cubed sweet potatoes. (I was stressed so I didn't eat). Alcohol...and a lot of it. 3 gin and tonics and 1 crown and diet coke, two shots of something sweet. 

Quote: “She liked the sharp salty smell of the air, and the vastness of horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above.” 

― George R.R. Martin

Thursday was kind of a kick it day. I watched an obscene amount of netflix, and then had dinner with Josh and watched a movie. That night I got a message from a friend who asked what I had planned for her birthday....which was nothing. I had promised, and I suck. 

I booked a cruise yesterday morning, couldn't find my birth certificate, and long story short my house is a war zone and I cancelled the cruise. We still had plane tickets to Miami, so we are headed to the keys. Instead of cataloging plans, I want to discuss traveling on a diet. I just got to 200.4 lbs. Which if I wouldn't have lost any weight I would be like 'fuck it, it's vacation.' However, now that there is progress on the scale...I am ready to tackle the day. 

So dieting on vacation...I leave tomorrow for Houston to stay the night with a friend. The next morning we fly out of Houston to Miami. I am renting a car and then driving down to the keys. I think I cannot expect to be perfect, but my goal is to keep all drinks calorie free unless it is alcohol. That will be my cheat. No bread, rice, grains. Proteins,Vegetables, and Fruits. Limited Dairy. 

Today I have to go buy shorts....I hate shorts. I hate the way I look in shorts. Boo. So other than cleaning my house, I have to go to the mall. And that is where I am to now. 

201

Two Quotes:
"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all."---Aristotle
and
"A woman's perfume tells you more about her than her handwriting."---Christian Dior



Tuesday's Food: Ground Bison Salad with Pico, Picante sauce, lettuce, 1 serving of ground bison, 1/2 avocado. Sole Fillets in lemon, green beans, and butternut squash, and a gingerberry kombucha tea. The whole day was 703 calories. I skipped breakfast. I know, bad.
Tuesday Weight: 202.8

Wednesday (Yesterday):  Breakfast was a banana and coffee with coconut creamer. Lunch was a falafel burrito in a whole wheat tortilla with vegan tzatziki, baby spinach, diced tomatoes, diced onions, and dolmas on the side. Dinner was (this is going to sound crazy), baked sweet potato with about a half of cup of chili and a sprinkle of reduced fat shredded cheese. Whole Day Calories: 970.

Today I weigh 201...with clothes.

I still haven't been to the gym yet. I have no excuse. I find myself perfectly content chilling with the cats. Yesterday I needed to go buy tank tops. So I got up, showered, and went to the mall. I hate the mall. I always feel much bigger than I am. I just have a funky shape. So I went into a little boutique store and just found things that distracted from the belly. I bought like 4 shirts, and they were on sale, so score. I need shorts/capris/leggings....I'll wait on that one for a little. Not cause I think I will shrink, but more because it takes a lot more patience and psyching myself up to go clothes shopping.

I did a little shopping yesterday. I got shirts, and then I went to hot topic for lanyards for the pin trading at Disney. I bought 8 lanyards. So the boys and I don't have to change the pins every single night. I do love pin trading. The pins are supposed to arrive today, so I keep running to the porch every time I hear a noise. I also bought candles on sale. I love pretty smelling things. It makes me feel much more relaxed, and I burn through candles so quickly. I am into floral smells, but Josh likes clean smells. So I have been burning my floral, and before he gets home I blow that out and light a fresh scent.

I cleaned out some drawers today. I am clearing out stuff I don't wear into bags, and then at the end of summer going through and donating. I also was able to move my makeup into one of my drawers because I literally leave ALL my make up on the dresser next to the mirror. My goal is to go through the drawers, and hangers in closets. I am about a 1/3 through the goal. It can be a two day goals. :)

I enrolled in the first class of my masters. What I like is the whole program is 18 months long. 1 class every 5 weeks. This first class is supposed to be free, so I applied for that. It'll save me a bunch. I am hoping they have a similar PhD program, but we will see if I want to jump in or wait again.

I ran across this article: http://www.organizeyourselfskinny.com/2016/06/09/10-things-beginning-115lb-weight-loss-journey/

I was kind of impressed. I haven't had a cocktail or glass of wine in over a week. I will probably at some point, but I am glad she mentioned skinny drinks because I had forgotten that I use to look up recipes for skinny cocktails and that is when I started drinking red wine. I love red wine, but DH and I are on a white wine kick...so crap. We need to go up to Fredericksburg to pick up our wine club shipment. That is a hard place to diet. I am just saying....

So this may sound like a regular blog, but this is more the "all the things distracting me from ordering a pizza" blog. I am okay with that. It gives me a daily goal.

Keeping Myself Occupied

Quote of the Day:
            Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.

---Emily Dickinson

Yesterday Food: 1 meal. 1 meal at 3pm. 1 meal at 3pm that I know I shouldn't have eaten so late and so much. Luckily, I wasn't hungry after that. (I am still not hungry). Gyro Meat Salad that included the dressing and feta. 3 dolmas, 1 oz of anchovy dip, Handful of fries, cucumber sauce. 1 Kombucha tea. (975 for the whole thing and the whole day).

Weight Today: 202.8

A week from today the boys should be here. So all this time I am so concerned with shouldn't be a concern any longer. I feel I am stuck in "The Waiting Place." I am waiting for my acceptance letter from UT Arlington. I am waiting for the formal job offer. I am waiting to resign. I am waiting for Dallas, Yosemite, and Orlando. I am waiting to eat, to drink, for my Amazon Firestick to find a wifi connection. So much waiting.

Edit: I was just admitted to UT Arlington!

Yesterday I was not hungry. At all. Even when I attacked the food given to me. I ate cause I knew I needed to. I know not eating actually makes me hold on to weight longer. Even now it is 9am and I haven't eaten anything. I have had 3 sips of coffee with coconut creamer. In about an hour I will probably make one of the shakes. At 1 I will probably eat my salad. Probably is the operative word.

When my DH is here we make poor food choices. Alone, I do pretty well. I get irritated when he pushes stuff at me that I would eat on my own, but coming from him it makes me think he is an unhappy asshole. This is not the case. He is being supportive, and I use that support and guilt to break my diet. I mean I am still good about breaking my diet, but nevertheless it is the same outcome.

Today is kind of up in the air. My plan is to fix this stupid FireStick we bought, watch movies, and plan for school next year. Or at least brush up on all the things I am clueless on because this is some very advanced literature. I really wish they would call, hire me formally, and give me the book list of what I am supposed to teach so I can prepare.

One thing I am debating is this whole water thing. I drink water, but not a lot. So I am debating doing the water challenge with the gallon jug. Debating. I am not there yet, but I do remember the last time I dropped a bunch of weight I drank a lot of water. So maybe...fingers crossed.

The one doom this week: I need to go out a buy shorts and tank tops. I cannot hope to lose a crazy amount of weight in order to do this, and I need that stuff like yesterday. I have too much outdoor shit coming up where I don't need to be wearing jeans and cardigans in 95+heat. Flattering cool clothes is the goal. Have I mentioned I hate my tummy and thighs? Fuck those parts. Fuck them. Grr. We will see how this goes.

Anxious and Antsy

Yesterday's Food: Breakfast: Green Smoothie, 2 egg whites, bowl of melon. Lunch: Ceviche, Lettuce with Ceaser Dressing, grilled zucchini. Dinner: Sofritas bowl containing Lettuce, Sofritas (Tofu), Pico, Corn Salsa, Guac, and cheese. Snacks: Coffee and rice milk and a diet cherry lime aid.

I was within the calories, but it was an excessive day.

Weight: Not sure. Probably the same.

With the anniversary of my Dad's death looming I feel it every single day. I play it back in my head as to what I was doing at this time last year. Like last year at this time I was moving classrooms, and I was getting prepared for summer school. I feel like a ticking time bomb. 

The diet stuff helps. I can kill some time looking up recipes and so forth. I am down with my breakfast routine. I like the egg whites and green smoothie. I know I can sustain that at home, but we have a few things planned this summer that may eat into that, so I need road options for later. I keep telling myself that vacations are not cheats because I am trying to make a lifestyle change. 

Yesterday, we met up with a friend for coffee. Honestly, I don't consider her a friend. I have pushed away a lot of people lately, and I am okay with that. We met with her, and then decided to bring my sister-in-law and nephew lunch. So we went to Barnes and Noble where I picked up AP lit study guides, so I can frame my plans around it for next year, and then brought them sea island which I meticulously was careful to order low calorie items from. It was hard. I wanted fried fish with vinegar so bad. But I did well. 

While we were there I thought about the month of July. July is a big blank slate of nothing. No plans, no ideas, nothing. Every year I get 100 pts from Disney Vacation Club to stay in hotels Disney owns. I have until October to use them. I mentioned this to my kids' stepmom. I was thinking she could go with me (split costs). But because they are moving they can't. I looked over at Sis-in-law, and it occurred to me. My nephew has never done anything like that.

So my dad struggled with money when we were younger, so when we did go to Disneyland it was a day trip, frugal, but amazing. Nothing like that exists for my nephew. My sons have been a twice in the last year, plus we spoil them to death. My nephew is 16. His childhood is almost over. I mentioned if he would be interested, and he looked like the 11 year old I met 5 years ago. He smiled, and then tried to play it off. So I made up my mind to take him...and the boys. DH has to work, and he is not happy. He does think I am amazing for inviting him because we both agree nephew just doesn't get anything. 

Other things I have "planned." 

Taking DS7 to Red Sox game in Dallas

Picking up DS12 from Yosemite and taking him gold panning and MAYBE white water rafting

Go through teaching crates and downsize and organize

Dad's scrapbooks, Organize and place in new Albums

My own photos, organize, Albums

Read up and organize for AP and Regular Classes

Grad School?

I need to be busy. This relaxing crap is highly overrated. I can do a week or two. But a whole summer, nah... that is not my style. 

Daily Goals: Blog, shower, one beauty thing a day (like paint my nails or do a face mask), read 50 pages of something, track food, write down 1 quote a day that I find inspiring or beautiful. 

1st Day

Day 1 (Yesterday)
Food: Breakfast: Green smoothie and watermelon. Lunch: Shrimp ceviche, Baby carrots, and half Kombucha tea. Snack: Grape Tomatoes. Dinner:  3 oz Salmon, sweet potato fries. Dessert: Cantaloupe and strawberries. 1/2 banana

Weight: 203 (Yesterday)

I was so bored yesterday. I tried very hard to find things to do. I sucked at it. I think overall I managed to stay under 1300 calories. I focused a lot of that.

I ordered the portion control tupperware, and it should be here Tuesday. I haven't even begun figuring out the plan for that. I feel like I should.

Plans are all I have. Plans for the boys getting here. Plans for teaching a level I haven't even signed a contract for. Plans for eating. Plans for exercise. All plans I have not made yet.

A couple of hiccups exist today. I am supposed to meet an old friend, one who I haven't spoken to in several months, for coffee. I am hoping the coffee shop has soy or coconut milk. I am really trying to stick to the no dairy, no meat, no grains thing I have going.

I need a schedule. I guess that is the number one thing to figure out. A to-do list involving books, movies, binge watching shows, things to organize, clean, etc. I think if I do that I will be less stir crazy.

Anyways, I am going to get off here and make food. If I don't eat here I will make some very bad choices.

Buying Time

So I went to the grocery store to buy me time on coming up a plan.

I decided to avoid meat, bread, dairy, and sugar. So the next few days should act as a detox of sorts. I found a pretty good recipe for a green kale smoothie, and that should be kind of my base. I am going to use egg whites and seafood as my protein sources. I also stocked up on fruits and vegetables in order to keep me satisfied.

I have cravings for creamy type foods, so even though it is high calorie, I bought avocados and bananas.

Drink wise I bought green tea, water, bone broth, and kambucha tea for the probiotic properties. Tomorrow I will go to my gym in order to reset my progress, granted I haven't been since March.

My plan for the next few days: Breakfast: Green Shake, Egg Whites, and fruit. Lunch: Ceviche, Fruit, Green shake (Maybe). Dinner: Fish, Vegetables, and either sweet potato or potato. I bought fruits and veggies to snack on. I am keeping track of the calories. I am also tracking my water and energy levels.

My current goal is 170. 30lbs is manageable. 140 is my ultimate, but 170 is my first goal. The area I dislike is my lower abdomen. I am rounder, but I can handle that. I dislike the "baby pooch." That is my ultimate physical goal.

Other goals would be to downsize all my classroom shit, read a lot more, and prep for my new job. And to blog daily.

Kale Detox Shake

Powerful detox action masquerades as another delicious shake from Prevention's Lori Powell (it's pictured here with the Berry Breakfast Smoothie.) The celery and parsley that contribute to its bright green color are diuretics that help rinse toxins from your system. Kale and mango are superfoods bursting with nutrition that support your cleanse.

Serves 2

PREP TIME: 15 minutes

TOTAL TIME: 15 minutes

1¼ cups chopped kale leaves (stems and tough rib removed), preferably Lacinato (also known as dinosaur)
1¼ cups frozen cubed mango
2 medium ribs celery, chopped
1 cup chilled fresh tangerine or orange juice
¼ cup chopped flat-leaf parsley
¼ cup chopped fresh mint

COMBINE all ingredients in blender.

PUREE until smooth.

POUR into 2 chilled glasses.

NUTRITION (per serving): 160 cal, 3 g protein, 39 g carbs, 5 g fiber, 0.5 g fat, 0 g sat fat, 56 mg sodium